i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize