It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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