On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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