I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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