Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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