After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
The police scanner is talking about you again....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
