wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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