so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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