i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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