I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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