i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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