We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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