she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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