I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize