I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
