So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
