peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
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I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
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How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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