Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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