I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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