You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The ass gains better be worth it
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
