i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
