ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
