Moan for me like Helen Keller
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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