Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
be right there i have to get my cape
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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