holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
