He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
