I cockslap morals
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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