is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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