she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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