3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
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That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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