I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
