Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
