yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Is Oprah even human
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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