We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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