I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize