Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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