i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
