I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I looked at my own cervix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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