That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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