i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Randomize
