i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
