apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
