i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
