I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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