Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
