I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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