I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I CAN MOONWALK!
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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