Im at strip club and am horny
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
