You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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