he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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