woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sorry about my life...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
