I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize