Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
