that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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