I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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