I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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